i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
