He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
