I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
