yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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