Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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