I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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