Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
