somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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