This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
