Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
