He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize