No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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