my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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