I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
