just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
