Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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