i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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