Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
