this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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