I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i now understand why vodka
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
