Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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