Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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