I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
