I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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