Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Buhtt sex?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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