You smell like stripper and shame
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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