too bad you live with your parents still
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
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Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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