is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
