go do what you do best...puke behind churches
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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