Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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