Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
