I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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