Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
