Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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