I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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