Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize