me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
