Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i believe in u and ur pee
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
