I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
