Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
