Got a toothbrush?
Kiss
Puke
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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