i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
