is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I party with great urgency now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
