Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She said her name was "party"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
