I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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