STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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