mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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