We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this beer tastes like vomit already
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
