WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
