Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
