The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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