we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
