Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my liver is dry heaving
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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