Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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