I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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