How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
