Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
