yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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