I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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