i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
