i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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