eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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