glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize