yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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