About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I've blown a few things in my day
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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