Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
