So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
