the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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